I’m 35 weeks pregnant at the time I’m writing this blog post. I just finished leading 15 other pregnant moms in my Baby Ready group coaching program. I taught them all about breastfeeding, using nutrition for postpartum recovery, the importance of rest postpartum and how to transition into life post pregnancy.
With my first pregnancy with Audrey, I wrote about how I was mentally preparing for breastfeeding my new baby after being an IBCLC lactation consultant for 3 years before having my own baby. You can read about my breastfeeding journey with her here.
I’m still breastfeeding Audrey, now at 2 years old, and I’m starting to think about breastfeeding a new born and even continuing to breastfeed Audrey.
What will tandem feeding look like?
Will Audrey want to nurse with her baby brother?
How will I meet both my newborn’s needs, plus Audrey’s emotional needs?
What if I experience breastfeeding issues like I did with Audrey and will be in too much pain to even nurse Audrey let alone the newborn!
Journaling has always helped me process my thoughts, so I thought I’d share how I’m mentally preparing to breastfeed baby #2 and how I’m mentally preparing for caring for two little ones, plus how I’m going to focus on my postpartum recovery which is SO so important for my mental health and my physical recovery
So how am I mentally preparing for baby #2?
1. Every baby is different and there’s a huge learning curve
My journey with Audrey was NOT easy. She had a posterior tongue tie that we released at 2.5 months after I tried to address other aspects like cranial sacral therapy, suck therapy with a speech pathologist and of course addressing the positioning and lactation side of things. After things didn’t improve and I could tell she was getting frustrated at the breast once my supply regulated around 2 months, I decided to go with my initial gut feeling of her needing a release and released it with a pediatric dentist. I really believe that’s why we’re still successfully breastfeeding at 2+ years.
I’m preparing myself for this baby to also have a tongue tie, but I don’t plan on waiting as long as I did with Audrey. I plan to take him first to my infant chiropractor to release any tension, do suck exercises, which I’ve been trained in through the IBCLC Masterclass: The Oral Habilitation then schedule a release.
I’m preparing myself for things to take time with both of us figuring each other out. Audrey latched right away, although it was very painful and I’m hoping this baby will latch right away too, but I’m also preparing myself if it takes him awhile. I will take deep breaths and calm him down when he gets frustrated, and I will try to keep the breast a happy place as he learns
2. Engorgement
My milk came in about 3 days postpartum with Audrey and I was SO engorged! I definitely had an oversupply, which I know many parents envy, but let me tell you, it is not fun! It’s painful, you’re constantly thinking about the next feeding or wanting to pump to alleviate engorgement but then also not wanting to pump because that just exacerbates the engorgement.
With each pregnancy, your breasts make more and more breast tissue, so I definitely know I’m going to have an oversupply again and will need to manage it this round. One reason I’m happy I’m still breastfeeding Audrey is I know she’ll help me regulate my supply and prevent clogged ducts (hopefully).
3. Baby is the priority, then the toddler in regards to breastfeeding
Audrey loves to nurse, ugh yes it’s annoying sometimes haha, but I do see it as our bonding time together, so I personally am okay with it, and she is fine if I tell her later if I want to. With this baby, it’s my priority to feed him first at the breast. I know from breastfeeding Audrey as a baby, that he’ll most likely be perfectly satisfied with one breast so Audrey can have the other side, but of course I want to offer both sides and ensure that he’s nursing efficiently on both sides.
4. Create a toy box when baby nurses
Juggling a toddler and newborn is going to be tricky. Audrey thankfully is pretty good about independent play and keeping herself entertained, she just needs to be set up with something. I plan on making about 3-4 toy bins that I ONLY pull out when nursing. I’m going to the Dollar Store to get a bunch of cheap toys, stickers, markers, coloring books, etc and putting them in a couple bins (or even just ziplock baggies), that she can get into when I’m nursing or needing to take care of baby or just need some down time ? I’m sure there will be some screen time but I always try to limit that when possible
5. My mental health
I stress mental health a LOT and the importance of self care time in my Baby Ready course. In my Baby Ready course, I challenge my enrollees to pick 3 things that make them feel human (even if that’s our basic needs like showering, shaving, putting make up on, doing our hair etc), and 3 things that bring us joy (talking to a friend, watching a show, going on a walk, doing an adult coloring book lol etc).
My mental health is so important! It’s crucial! It’s a non-negotiable! Being the best version of myself is critical for how I parent and raise my babies. Thankfully my husband and I are very open about this and we both are great about giving each other that self-care time.
But the early days can be very tricky when you’re the only one able to provide and nourish your baby when you breastfeed. It’s very hard when you’re the one doing the night feeds, plus also trying to just recover from labor and delivery. How will I get that break from my newborn who needs me all the time?
With Audrey, I would bring her into the bathroom after I’d fed her and she was content and spend time putting make up on, doing my hair etc. I would even remove the outside shower curtain so that all I had was the inner clear plastic and could watch Audrey and she could see me while I showered in peace. I plan on doing this again with this baby as it worked well. I just had to make sure my baby was fed and changed and in a good mood.
For my joy, believe it or not, but I love my private practice and helping moms! It brings me joy doing one on one consults. I plan on continuing to do virtual consults, and will have an intern who is studying to become an IBCLC lactation consultant help me with some of those consults. Then of course, I’ll continue meeting with my one on one nutrition clients.
Also for my joy, I plan on feeding baby, then maybe going on a walk alone, or taking a nice long shower and shaving and pampering myself (until my baby needs me again #clusterfeeding).
6. My postpartum recovery
I know I keep mentioning my Baby Ready course, but I am basically my own student and taking all the advice and information I give in the course, to my own postpartum journey. I have an entire section on just nutrition for recovery and how to feel your best and heal with the power of food and supplements.
I’ve been making a bunch of freeze ahead meals (I have a whole guide in my course on how to do this and the foods I recommend). I’m stocking up on some of my favorite supplements for recovery including quality postnatal vitamins, collagen for optimal wound healing, magnesium as a natural stool softener, Vitamin D and cod liver oil for my omega 3 fatty acids to help with postpartum depression, and of course eating nutrient dense foods to help with my overall recovery and mood.
I’m making a bunch of meals, I’ve made some bone broth, and have already bought these supplements so I’m feeling pretty ready for my recovery.
In Conclusion
So in conclusion, breastfeeding is a learned skill between me and my baby. I am prepared for it to take time. I have a list of WHY I want to breastfeed. I plan on calling my sister in the middle of the night, if I need to cry about breastfeeding. I’ve communicated with my husband on WHY I want to breastfeed and we are both on the same page. He is going to be my biggest motivator and supporter.
I have a list of providers including lactation consultants, pediatric dentist, and chiropractor/body worker in my area that I plan on using, should I need to. I want to be my baby’s mother, and not the lactation consultant. I will not do weighted feeds after every feeding, because I don’t want this to become an obsession. I want to be present with my baby and trust that as long as my baby is gaining, thriving, and having good output, that my body is providing him with everything he needs. Our bodies are resilient, and I am excited to provide the best thing possible for my baby. I am mentally prepared for good days and bad days. I am freezing meals ahead of time during my pregnancy, so I will have food ready and I can focus on my care after birth.
I’m ready! Are you?
