Most women go into childbirth with a “birth plan” but very few women go into motherhood with a “4th Trimester Plan.” The 4th trimester is the three months after childbirth that have the potential to truly test you physically and emotionally. You’ve just had a physically demanding pregnancy, and now you’re adjusting to your new life with your your baby outside of the womb. Your heart expanded, and you have never been happier! But you have also never been more exhausted and unsure of yourself in your life. Who knew a human could live on so little sleep?! Remember that this period is simply a transition period. If you take the time to develop a postpartum plan using these 10 Tips to Conquer the 4th Trimester, you will soon be enjoying motherhood and all of it’s splendors.
Nutrition plays a HUGE role in your postpartum recovery both physcally AND mentally. How you plan for and nourish yourself postpartum will determine how quickly you heal physically and emotionally. A recent meta-analysis found that anemia during and after pregnancy results in a significantly increased risk of postpartum depression. During pregnancy, your body depletes many of your nutrient stores as it gives preference to the fetus. Nourish yourself with healing foods such as organ meat, bone broth, and fermented food. Take a postnatal vitamin. These are all so essential to replenishing your nutrient stores post birth which contributes to your physical AND mental healing.
If you are able to, and weather permitting, walking in the sunshine every day can be incredibly healing and energizing. Spending just 30 minutes walking in the sunshine in the morning can help you wake up, and also help you sleep better at night by regulating your circadian rhythm (body’s clock). Not only that, sunshine also helps your body create vitamin D! It is estimated that 40% of American’s are deficient in vitamin D. Did you know that current research recommends lactating women consume 6400 IU of vitamin D per day? Yes you read that right. 6400! Most prenatal vitamins contain 400IU. Beyond that, never underestimate the energizing feeling of the warmth of the sun on your face.
Every relationships has a different dynamic, and every partner has different interests and needs. Your first child can really put pressure on your relationship as you adjust to a new normal. Maybe fatherhood comes naturally to your partner, or maybe it doesn’t. Maybe motherhood comes easy to you, or maybe it doesn’t. The 4th trimester will be a time when you develop a new daily routine with your partner and your new addition. It may change throughout the course of the 4th trimester, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to develop a routine, and I am not talking about your baby’s sleep routine.
Who will give baths, change diapers, wash dishes, make dinner, wash bottles, put the baby to sleep, get up in every time the baby cries? Your laundry list gets a whole heck of a lot longer when you have a child, and to save yourself resentment, make a plan. Be open with your partner about expectations before hand. Discuss these new duties and talk about how you will share the responsibility. The responsibility may not be equal at all times, but having an open conversation and letting your partner know how they can help you and how you expect them to help can be beneficial to your sanity.
You just had a baby! How amazing! As much as you want to jump right into your new role, understand that you will have limitations in the beginning. While you are healing from childbirth, be patient with yourself. Give yourself grace. Set reasonable expectations, and better yet, throw your expectations out the window. Let yourself heal and….
One of the best things you can do when creating your postpartum plan, is schedule help! Although everyone will want to come to see the baby right away, especially if both grandparents are first-time grandparents, staggering visitors can be incredibly helpful to newly postpartum visitors. Staggering visitors allows you to prolong your help, and trust me, you will need it. If each sets of grandparents can come for one week each, separate the weeks so that one (maybe your mom?) visits for the birth and immediately after, and schedule the second visit for after your husband goes back to work. Another great resource for help after childbirth is hiring a postpartum doula. A postpartum doula provides emotional and physical support during the postpartum period. A postpartum doula will help you with chores around the house, cooking, taking night shift, and some are also IBCLC Lactation Consultants!
One of the things I stress the most with my followers and clients is being prepared. Prepping and freezing meals while pregnant is SO helpful during the 4th Trimester and you will be giving your pregnant self a high-five. This can be a great way to alleviate some stress and give you back time in those early weeks postpartum. Frozen meals will keep in your freezer for about 3 months before the quality begins to diminish so start early! Start planning what meals you will make and freeze about 2 months before baby comes and begin cooking about 1.5 months before baby comes. This will give you time to slowly begin the process of cooking and storing without overwhelming you as your due date creeps closer.
I have helped hundreds of newly postpartum moms and the one thing that they can all agree on is that breastfeeding is the hardest thing they have ever done. Yes, something that is supposed to be “natural” will be one of the hardest things you do, and will not feel very natural at first. Seeking help with an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant immediately after birth can help set your on a successful path to your breastfeeding journey. Many hospitals employ IBCLCs, and it is important to meet with them before you leave the hospital, and follow up if you have ANY breastfeeding issues or concerns.
You may notice that several of these tips have an underlying these: seek support. The postpartum period can be incredibly isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. There are breastfeeding and new mom support groups in most cities as well as virtual support groups. These groups can be so beneficial as they can help you find other women that are in a similar situation as you, going through the same struggles.
Shared experience can help you build a tribe which is SO important to feeling connected during the postpartum period. A bonus is that many breastfeeding support groups provide you free access to a lactation consultant to talk about issues you may be having.
Being a new mom comes with ups and downs, and really is an emotional roller coaster. You may feel incredible joy at becoming a new mom, and you may not. You may feel instant bonding with your new baby, and you may not. Know that however you are feeling during this postpartum period is OK. There is no right and wrong way to feel, and the guilt that comes along with being a new mom is bad enough without feeling guilty for how you FEEL! Nourish yourself with good food, and talk to your significant other. Talk to your doctor if your emotions are too much to bear and never be ashamed to do so.
Read that again. Make. Self. Care. Non. Negotiable. Self-care during the 4th Trimester might look A LOT different than it did before baby, but do not underestimate it’s power. Take a 5 minute shower vs. a 5 second shower (or 10, or 15 mins), pluck your eyebrows, wear a face mask, sit quietly in a closet for 5 minutes, do whatever it is that you consider self-care at least once daily. Schedule it into your new routine and make it non-negotiable.
The 4th Trimester is an incredibly challenging time but also an AMAZING time! You have just given birth to a miracle and are now charged with the great privilege of raising that miracle. Coming up with a 4th Trimester Plan is JUST if not more important than a birth plan. I have created a new course, The Postpartum Approach, to help mommas like you conquer the 4th Trimester and be prepared!
